Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help

Subject: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:32 am

For the past year I've been extremely depressed on and off and at one point even considered suicide and still do sometimes especially lately (my parents have a loaded gun in their room for safety reasons which I held at one point). This is because I feel like I've pretty much wasted my teen years. I rarely "get out", nobody ever wants to hang out with me, I've never had a legit girlfriend, I've never been kissed, my GPA isn't so great mainly because I attend a special technology-based school (which affects getting into college which is an important goal of mine). I feel like I'm just setting myself up for a really crappy life. I also feel like I'm not where I should be socially. I spend most of my days sitting on the computer, playing PS3, or watching TV. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get a job. Sorry to get all emotional with you guys but I had to get it out somewhere. Maybe I could get some advice? I'm 17 by the way and turning 18 in November.

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sat Aug 27, 2011 1:29 am

I'm the same way (with the exception of the girlfriend and associated parts), so I know how you're feeling and it does get lonely. And I've been dealing with depression for the last 10 or so years, which recently has been a lot worse than usual since the death of one of my cats last month. The first thing I would say to do is tell your parents, because they need to know this, including that you held a gun on yourself. You need help, don't be afraid to ask for it. Your parents can get you in to somebody (counselor, therapist, etc.) who can provide you that help. I told people, I asked for help. And today I don't regret it in the least. You won't either. It might not feel like it right now, but your life is important.

I also feel your parents are being a bit irresponsible by keeping a loaded gun out in the open without a lock or putting it in a gunsafe. If they can't get a lock or safe for some reason, the gun and ammunition needs to be stored separately.

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:46 am

Ghost Leader wrote:

I'm the same way (with the exception of the girlfriend and associated parts), so I know how you're feeling and it does get lonely. And I've been dealing with depression for the last 10 or so years, which recently has been a lot worse than usual since the death of one of my cats last month. The first thing I would say to do is tell your parents, because they need to know this, including that you held a gun on yourself. You need help, don't be afraid to ask for it. Your parents can get you in to somebody (counselor, therapist, etc.) who can provide you that help. I told people, I asked for help. And today I don't regret it in the least. You won't either. It might not feel like it right now, but your life is important.

I also feel your parents are being a bit irresponsible by keeping a loaded gun out in the open without a lock or putting it in a gunsafe. If they can't get a lock or safe for some reason, the gun and ammunition needs to be stored separately.

My parents do keep all their guns in a gunsafe besides the one my mom keeps in her dresser drawer next to her bed. I remember at one point in the middle of last year I broke down at dinner and my mom like jokingly asked out of anger "are you depressed or something because we can get you help?" and I just lied and said no. I kinda wish I did say yes looking back on it. I just don't wanna get all worked up again honestly. I don't even know if they would take me seriously. Like, it comes and goes. Some days are better than others. But when it does I feel as low as it gets. Believe it or not that's actually what I wanna be.. a psychologist. Ironic huh? One more thing I didn't hold a gun on myself I just held it in my hand thinking about it. I didn't actually point it at my head or anything like that.

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sat Aug 27, 2011 9:53 am

Bub537 wrote:

My parents do keep all their guns in a gunsafe besides the one my mom keeps in her dresser drawer next to her bed.

Like I said, if it isn't locked up, the gun and ammunition need to be stored separately.

Quote:

I remember at one point in the middle of last year I broke down at dinner and my mom like jokingly asked out of anger "are you depressed or something because we can get you help?" and I just lied and said no. I kinda wish I did say yes looking back on it. I just don't wanna get all worked up again honestly. I don't even know if they would take me seriously. Like, it comes and goes. Some days are better than others. But when it does I feel as low as it gets. Believe it or not that's actually what I wanna be.. a psychologist. Ironic huh?

From what you say here, I think they will believe you. Don't be afraid to ask for help, depression is a legitimate illness and having it is nothing to be ashamed of. Realizing you need help is a step in the right direction because that's something that's really hard to admit to one's self. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Quote:

One more thing I didn't hold a gun on myself I just held it in my hand thinking about it. I didn't actually point it at my head or anything like that.

That's good that you didn't hold it on yourself, but it still concerns me that you actually got the gun and thought about it. Tell your parents about how you're feeling. From what you've said, I get the impression that your parents really care about you, so I do think they'll believe you.

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sat Aug 27, 2011 1:46 pm

Bub537 wrote:

For the past year I've been extremely depressed on and off and at one point even considered suicide (my parents have a loaded gun in their room for safety reasons which I held at one point). This is because I feel like I've pretty much wasted my teen years. I rarely "get out", I've never had a legit girlfriend, I've never been kissed, my GPA isn't so great mainly because I attend a special technology-based school (which affects getting into college which is an important goal of mine). I feel like I'm just setting myself up for a really crappy life. I also feel like I'm not where I should be socially. I spend most of my days sitting on the computer, playing PS3, or watching TV. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get a job. Sorry to get all emotional with you guys but I had to get it out somewhere. Maybe I could get some advice? I'm 17 by the way and turning 18 in November.

holy shit. thats just like me Shocked

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:12 pm

Well GL I took your advice and told my mom. I guess I feel kinda better about it now.

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sat Aug 27, 2011 9:12 pm

Bub537 wrote:

Well GL I took your advice and told my mom. I guess I feel kinda better about it now.

Good.

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:21 pm

I still don't know whether or not I feel like I need to see a specialist. I wanna get help but it seems kind of embarrassing.

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:39 am

yes it may seem embarrising, but would you rather be embarresed or dead?

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sun Aug 28, 2011 4:11 am

kris your like twelve why would I listen to you? And I've decided to see a specialist. I don't exactly know how they can help me but it seems like it's the best option for myself.

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:04 am

Kris is only trying to help you, same as I am. Kids can be a lot wiser than most people think. Wink

We're all glad you've decided to see someone. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, nothing whatsoever. We're here for support whenever you need it. Smile

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:34 pm

I don't take it personally alot forums I'm on make fun of me all the time there usally reply to them kindly
Oh and thanks GL

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:24 pm

Bub537 wrote:

For the past year I've been extremely depressed on and off and at one point even considered suicide and still do sometimes especially lately (my parents have a loaded gun in their room for safety reasons which I held at one point). This is because I feel like I've pretty much wasted my teen years. I rarely "get out", nobody ever wants to hang out with me, I've never had a legit girlfriend, I've never been kissed, my GPA isn't so great mainly because I attend a special technology-based school (which affects getting into college which is an important goal of mine). I feel like I'm just setting myself up for a really crappy life. I also feel like I'm not where I should be socially. I spend most of my days sitting on the computer, playing PS3, or watching TV. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get a job. Sorry to get all emotional with you guys but I had to get it out somewhere. Maybe I could get some advice? I'm 17 by the way and turning 18 in November.

First of all, depression affects every human being at some point in their lives. But it sounds as if you are struggling with major depressive episodes. This is still extremely common and it is nothing at all to be embarrassed about. It's a very good thing that you have told your parents and I hope they are being as supportive as possible. I have a bit of advice, if the specialist you see gives you the impression that he/she is only going to treat you with medication and nothing more (namely counseling), you should try to see someone else. Medicating depression will help you and is a good thing, but medication by itself is not the answer. As I look through your post, I see what cognitive psychologists call "maladaptive thinking." Cognitive psychologists believe that treatment for most any mental illness can be traced back to how the subject thinks about his/her life. I'll give you examples to think about:

Bub537 wrote:

Nobody ever wants to hang out with me.

You may be thinking that no one wants to hang around with you because something is wrong with you. This is not true. What may be happening is that because you think something is wrong with you, you become depressed or you may just seem withdrawn to others, which causes them to think you don't WANT them around you.

Bub537 wrote:

I've never had a legit girlfriend, I've never been kissed

How many times have you asked a girl out? Were you confident while doing so? Having a good self esteem is a very important aspect of life and working on how you perceive yourself is something you should really try to do. We all base ourselves off of who we see around us. Constantly comparing ourselves to others. While this can sometimes motivate us to better ourselves, sometimes it reinforces a bad image we may have of ourselves. Try to not compare yourself to those who you see as superior to you. Just think about your good traits. If you find yourself thinking something bad about yourself, ask yourself if what you are thinking is really true. Are you really less deserving than anyone else of being happy? I can answer that for you. No.

Bub537 wrote:

I also feel like I'm not where I should be socially. I spend most of my days sitting on the computer, playing PS3, or watching TV.

You should try to go somewhere to socialize. Obviously the bar is out lol. But there are still probably some places around you where your peers hang out. Inject yourself into that environment. But make sure you are up for it. If you are feeling depressed than they will pick up on it. So when you are feeling more joyous than usual, try to go hang out there. It's much easier to make friends than many people think. You just have to break down some walls and put yourself out there. And don't let some douchebags ruin it for you. There are people like that everywhere. Don't get discouraged.

Bub537 wrote:

No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get a job.

This could be caused by many things. This economy does not help. It's extremely hard to find a job now, especially in some places more than others. It could also have to do with how well you interview. When you go in, as long as you look and act like you would be a good employee, you have upped your chance at snagging the position greatly. But like I said, there are less jobs out there now. Don't let the fact that you can't find work discourage you. The unemployment rate is nearing the moon now.

I hope this all helps. I know it's long and I'm nowhere near qualified to help you. Just make sure you trust your counselor and remember that treatment is something you MUST be active in. To be helped, you must want the help and be involved just as much as the counselor. Do the homework he/she may assign and do the things he/she may have you do. I hope you start feeling better!

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Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:43 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qOvNgEsZ9s

Subject: Re: Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:13 pm

NiteKrawler wrote:

Bub537 wrote:

For the past year I've been extremely depressed on and off and at one point even considered suicide and still do sometimes especially lately (my parents have a loaded gun in their room for safety reasons which I held at one point). This is because I feel like I've pretty much wasted my teen years. I rarely "get out", nobody ever wants to hang out with me, I've never had a legit girlfriend, I've never been kissed, my GPA isn't so great mainly because I attend a special technology-based school (which affects getting into college which is an important goal of mine). I feel like I'm just setting myself up for a really crappy life. I also feel like I'm not where I should be socially. I spend most of my days sitting on the computer, playing PS3, or watching TV. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get a job. Sorry to get all emotional with you guys but I had to get it out somewhere. Maybe I could get some advice? I'm 17 by the way and turning 18 in November.

First of all, depression affects every human being at some point in their lives. But it sounds as if you are struggling with major depressive episodes. This is still extremely common and it is nothing at all to be embarrassed about. It's a very good thing that you have told your parents and I hope they are being as supportive as possible. I have a bit of advice, if the specialist you see gives you the impression that he/she is only going to treat you with medication and nothing more (namely counseling), you should try to see someone else. Medicating depression will help you and is a good thing, but medication by itself is not the answer. As I look through your post, I see what cognitive psychologists call "maladaptive thinking." Cognitive psychologists believe that treatment for most any mental illness can be traced back to how the subject thinks about his/her life. I'll give you examples to think about:

Bub537 wrote:

Nobody ever wants to hang out with me.

You may be thinking that no one wants to hang around with you because something is wrong with you. This is not true. What may be happening is that because you think something is wrong with you, you become depressed or you may just seem withdrawn to others, which causes them to think you don't WANT them around you.

Bub537 wrote:

I've never had a legit girlfriend, I've never been kissed

How many times have you asked a girl out? Were you confident while doing so? Having a good self esteem is a very important aspect of life and working on how you perceive yourself is something you should really try to do. We all base ourselves off of who we see around us. Constantly comparing ourselves to others. While this can sometimes motivate us to better ourselves, sometimes it reinforces a bad image we may have of ourselves. Try to not compare yourself to those who you see as superior to you. Just think about your good traits. If you find yourself thinking something bad about yourself, ask yourself if what you are thinking is really true. Are you really less deserving than anyone else of being happy? I can answer that for you. No.

Bub537 wrote:

I also feel like I'm not where I should be socially. I spend most of my days sitting on the computer, playing PS3, or watching TV.

You should try to go somewhere to socialize. Obviously the bar is out lol. But there are still probably some places around you where your peers hang out. Inject yourself into that environment. But make sure you are up for it. If you are feeling depressed than they will pick up on it. So when you are feeling more joyous than usual, try to go hang out there. It's much easier to make friends than many people think. You just have to break down some walls and put yourself out there. And don't let some douchebags ruin it for you. There are people like that everywhere. Don't get discouraged.

Bub537 wrote:

No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get a job.

This could be caused by many things. This economy does not help. It's extremely hard to find a job now, especially in some places more than others. It could also have to do with how well you interview. When you go in, as long as you look and act like you would be a good employee, you have upped your chance at snagging the position greatly. But like I said, there are less jobs out there now. Don't let the fact that you can't find work discourage you. The unemployment rate is nearing the moon now.

I hope this all helps. I know it's long and I'm nowhere near qualified to help you. Just make sure you trust your counselor and remember that treatment is something you MUST be active in. To be helped, you must want the help and be involved just as much as the counselor. Do the homework he/she may assign and do the things he/she may have you do. I hope you start feeling better!

You seem to be pretty knowledgeable about this kind of stuff. Ever consider becoming a psychologist? But thanks for the advice I'll definitely take what you said to heart. And sorry kris I just felt like you were pointing out the obvious but I know all you were trying to do is help so I apologize.

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Kinda personal, maybe you guys can help

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