Come here and post a review for a movie you saw, in theatres, on DVD, VHS, off of itunes, etc, etc. I guess we could include blu ray as well. We should probably follow some sort of format too, like reviewing, giving a certain number of stars...what sounds fair, 5/5?

I'll start:

WWE The Ladder Match

Ok, so I just got this from amazon, along with History Of The IC Championship(which I'm still waiting for), and I've decided to do a review. First off, ladder matches have always been one of my favorites, though I've just recently seen a few slightly boring ones....when they aren't good, they are pretty bad.

So, going into this, I was aware of some of the matches that would be involved, and it's definately been a smart buy. A few different TLC matches, Money In The Bank, Ladder, etc. Matches involving the likes of HBK, The Hardy Boyz, E & C, Team 3D, RVD, Jericho, Benoit, and many, many others. There's actually such a good match selection, both in quantity and quality.

All in all, I really like it, it was worth every penny, 5/5 from me.

Paranoid Park (2007), Directed by Gus Van Sant, must have been 25 minutes before the film makers thought it was too short and needed to add unnecessary clips of skater punk's butt cracks, flipping their boards in slow motion, showing our main character; no I'm sorry I won't even give him the right the called the main character, let's call Alex the character the story circulated around. So Alex walks in slow motion, literally everywhere, where a whole 3 minute song could play while he just walks. I haven't read the book but I'm sure that Blake Nelson, the author of the book thought, "Hey, you know what's a good idea for my book? If I wrote about Alex, the character that the story circulates around, to walk for a really long time. In fact he'll walk and walk and walk and turn his head and walk and walk and turn his head and stay that way for a while, in the meantime crappy music no one can bare for another minute plays in the background." You might have a hard time spotting the walking mop head character in the film seeing how everyone in the film seems to be walking around with mops glued to their craniums.

So in Mophead Park, Alex, the character the story circulates around, accidentally murders a police officer as much as one could accidentally murder anyone. He apparently forgets he murdered anyone because his guilt scene was the only time he ever looked like he felt guilt. He actually had to see a picture of the dead body to jog his memory so he could say "OH RIGHT I KILLED SOMEONE LAST WEEKEND, DIDNT I? OH WELL, OH WELL. BACK TO MY LIFE". But anyway, Alex lives on, the rest of the story basically getting absolutely nothing accomplished. This is supposed to be a modern retelling of "Crime and Punishment", not a retelling of Justin Beiber's love life.

The story's integrity was extremely weak. Entire scenes of the movie were replayed, slow scenes were replayed, and did they make sense after they replayed it? Yes, but was there any reason for the film makers to confuse the viewer in the first place? Absolutely not! Like I said in the beginning of the review the film would have been better off if they got rid of all of the slowmotion, if they got rid of all the filler skater punks with a disgusting gritty filter, if they got rid of every scene that made me want to eat my own face in. At times of the most slowest shots I felt compelled to reach under the couch in hopes to find a gun I can use to paint the ceilings with my brains. In the end of the film (I don't care, I'll end up not recommending you see this movie anyway so I can tell you its damn ending) Alex, the character the story circulates around, burns his notebook. Instead of showing him in front of a fire burning the book, they show him burning every single individual page. You could have gotten the idea across with him standing in front of a fire, there's no need whatsoever for all that time wasted! There were scenes in Slowmotion Park where character actually sat down to talk to each other but they thought it would be "artsy" if they broke the fundamental rules of filmmaking and only focus on one character in a dialog scene. This happened often throughout the movie but there was this one particular scene which was absolutely unbearable in which you only heard Alex's voice but saw Macy's fat pimply disgusting face throughout the entire scene. They could have graced us by cutting over to Alex every now and then but they didn't. That's not good editing! That's not good filmmaking! That's not good story telling! That's not good art! That's not good anything! There was this one scene where Alex, the character the story circulates around, breaks up with his girlfriend. They took out all the dialog and replaced it with terrible music probably because the acting was so terrible the editors couldn't bare listen to it.

That's another thing to rant on! The acting was as stone cold as a politician's heart. The actors delivered their lines with such emotion that rivals a giant pine cone. Every time Alex, the character the story circulates around, opened his mouth I think a part of me died. His VOs were even worse, they sounded like a robot from the 90s and would only get worse as the story progressed... Wait scratch that, the story NEVER progressed, it just got longer. Not only was Alex's (the character the story circulates around) acting was horrendous, but every other actor's acting. The officer's acting was decent... But otherwise it just sucks. Well okay, honestly. How well do you think the acting could get when Gus auditioned them from fucking Myspace?

They storyline was an utter mess. It was as if someone wrote a terrible script, shredded it into a million pieces, stuffed it into a shotgun, and fired it into a sea of shredded terrible scripts. Then in a realization that "holy cow we have a movie to make" hit the filmmakers, they tried to desperately put the script back together. I kid you not. Scenes were out of place, there was a character named Rachel that was introduced, she had a two minute slow motion close up, she said nothing and did nothing, she was just there wasting two minutes of the audience's life. Those two minutes go by as fast as a snail pushing an anvil across China. What does Rachel do? What was so significant? What was her role dammit?! She might as well have been a completely different character from the sea of shredded terrible scripts where the slowmotion closeup could have played a more significant role in a different story! Let me give an example: "Mother died", bam! Slowmotion close up! Not "Walks into restaurant", bam! Slowmotion close up!" While I'm on the subject, What's the point of all the out of focus close ups and slowmotion bad music scenes? Half of the movie is bad dialog, the other half is completely irrelevant! I thought that Alex broke up with his girlfriend a long time ago, then they hold hands and have sex then he breaks up with her again! What the hell?

What I was most surprised about was how well it did in the box office. It grossed over $4,000,000, it took $3,000,000 to make. They say that the cinematography was amazing and that's what made the film, well if I throw together a bunch of pretty slow motion close ups of pimply teenager's faces together and sat you down for three straight hours would you say "Oh yeah the movie was slow but it looked so pretty, I have to give it high ratings!" Reviewers usually score the terrible film rather highly, I don't see why. There's actually nothing to like about it. The only way the story could be seen as "deep" is as in "deep shit".

So if I were to rate Absolutely Irrelevant Park anything I would give it "Shit out of Ten." And I lied earlier. I recommend you see this film if you get entertained by watching paint dry, watching grass grow, watching the ceiling fan spin, watching 12 oz. Mouse, or watching your parents bleed to death.

Trish Stratus 100% Stratusfaction

Trish is one of the best female wrestlers(Divas) in WWE history. I found this dvd in the 5 dollar bin at Wal Mart and couldn't help buying it. It's got a really great documentary.

The match selection is crap...it's got good matches, but only 4 of them, and one of those 4 is a mud match....not that it wasn't good, but come on.

Considering the documentary and other extras, I think this movie deserves a 7/10 chick kicks.